Troy H. Jones

A couple of weeks ago I over heard my wife and two girls plan a girls day.  The plan was to spend the day shopping, doing nails and whatever girls do together.  I thought this was great.  Our girls have been so busy lately.  As their dad I love seeing them spend time with mom.  

There plan was to do this on a Monday.  I think veterans day.  School was out.  It was Sunday night and I was preparing for bed.  It was 11:45 PM.  Very tired after speaking three times at New Life all day.  Sunday night I am wired, tired and just wanted to be by myself.  As I was taking a bath I got an idea.  My idea was “I should surprise my girls” and go get them three roses.  This thought entered my mind and left it very quickly.  It was late.  I was tired.  Why should I use my creative energy on my family?  I hate to admit I even thought like this. 

As I was thinking about this another very compelling thought came to me.  “Troy if this was Saturday night and you got a great idea for your message on Sunday…you would do it”  You better believe I would.  I will do anything to bring fresh ideas and creativity to my church.  From time to time I will talk to myself like this.  I believe this was the Holy Spirit gently reminding  is important in my life.  Here is the question I wrestled with this late Sunday night:  “Why do I spend so much creative energy on my ministry and give so little to my family?”  Ouch! This hurts.  Badly.  I work hard on being creative with my speaking, the church and the ministry.  Why can’t I come up with one creative idea for my family?  Why do I do the same date nights with my wife every week?  Movie and dinner. 

I am just like you.  I say my family is the most important in my life.  Then, why? Why do they get the left overs? 

As I was wrestling with this I decided, “tonight I am going to give my family what they deserve”….they deserve my best energy, creative ideas and attention to details. 

I jumped out of the bathtub, got dressed and went to QFC.  I bought three roses..one for each of my girls.   I went to a cash machine and got 15 $20 dollar bills.  I knew a “girl day” out would include shopping.  Shopping includes money.  I got back in my car. I wasn’t sure exactly how I would give this to them.  But, I kept thinking, “I am a creative person on my job…I can have some creative ideas for my family”  

When I got home, I went to the computer and typed out a note saying, “enjoy the day on daddy” “no boys allowed”  “Make your mom spend this money”  Then I went to our family room and took the $20 dollar bills and put them in a shape of our heart.  I put the three roses and note on the money.  In the  morning they all found this money and roses.  I was hoping they liked the roses better than the money…but I was wrong….they loved the money.

The girls loved it.  They bought all types of clothing.  They actually went to build a bear and my wife bought herself a new stuff bear.  They gave the bear so strange name.  I can’t recall it. 

My three girls loved the day.

It all started with one question–why do I give my best creative energy to my ministry and give my family my left overs?  Fair question.

Our families–your family deserves your best.  We wonder why are marriages our dull..well..when is the last time you got off your butt and did something creative for your spouse?  We wonder why our kids rebel..when is the last time you left work early and did something for them?  When?  Why not?  What is wrong with me?  us? 

Stoping wondering why you have a dull marriage..do something about it.  Get a book on creativity.  Copy someones idea.  Do something.  Anything.  When you were dating you actually looked good…you took care of yourself…do it again.  Call your spouse…send them a text…do something, anything.  

My girls can’t remember what I preached that Sunday. Honestly I can’t remember.  But, they will always remember the three roses.   Creative sermons are fine.  They need to happen.  But, let’s give a little off that creative energy to the ones we love the most.

I know this may sound too cheesy for some. But, I truly believe the tongue has the power of life and death.  On my iphone I carry with me some powerful defining statements.  I pray these over my life.  I reflect and think on them often.  In my car, during my quiet times and before I go to bed. 

Who do you want to become spirtually?  What do you want your heart to be like? 

Here is what I pray over my life often.

My Declaration

My heart reflects Jesus

I feel deeply

I cry and laugh out loud

I am alive emotionally and spiritually

I have a spark in my eyes

I have energy in my steps

I feel the presence of God

I listen and follow my intuition and discernment

I find joy in small things

At bedtime I search my heart and I am silent

In the morning I am unhurried and reflective

I hunger for the Word of God

My heart burns for the Scriptures

The overflow of my heart speaks life, Jesus and good things

The peace of God umpires my heart in every decision I make

God creates in me a clean heart everyday

The Holy Spirit convicts me of sin, guides me into truth and walks with me everyday

It’s Thanksgiving…my question is why do I forget all the blessings in my life?  or a better question, “why don’t I remember?”  Ok, this isn’t even a good question, maybe the question is “why don’t I appreciate the blessings of God in my life?”….I really don’t forget…I just don’t appreciate.

In my journal today I wrote–I am the most blessed man in the world.  I know this. I understand this.  I started to list all my blessings.  Why do I need a day to remember this?  Maybe I am spoiled.  Maybe all of us are spoiled. Maybe we need to repent of our ingrown/selfish attitude towards life. 

I am so thankful for my wife, two girls, my mom, my inlaws, great church, incredible relationships, America, health, more money than I need, all the toys in the world, a house, food, a car, education, mentors, relatives–and these are just the beginnig…I am forgetting things like the ablity to breath, walk, smile, think, enjoy, laugh, cry, and so much more. 

I am so blessed.  We are so blessed.  God forgive us for not giving you thanks everyday.  Forgive us for not getting up every day and thank you for the blessings in our lives.

Then I read I Timothy 6.  It says to those who are rich don’t be arrogrant and put your hope in wealth.  Then Paul gives five things we should do–put our hope in God, be generous, be willing to share, be rich in good deeds….there is one more I can’t recall it right now….

Am I rich?  Yes!!!  Even the question shows me how selfish we are in America.  We are rich by every standard.  If you have a car–you are rich. 

My prayer this thanksgiving…God help me not forget…I am blessed, I am rich…help me have a deep appreciation for the goodness of God.  Forgive me God for wanting more and not giving more.

I am one blessed man. Everyday I fall in love with my wife deeper. Sounds crazy and way to romantic. But real. A godly wife is a gift from God. God has showered His gifts on me.

In the past year  I have been asking myself “how  can I  maintain spiritual and emotional health?”  Way to many people get older and bitter all at the same time. I want to get older and wiser.  I want to wake up one day and still love Jesus, my wife, my kids and my church.  This won’t happen on accident.  The  only thing that  happens on accident is we drift spiritually, we hold grudges, and we let the fun of life slip away.  I  want to stay fresh, I  want to grow and I want to be alive. 

Here are four sacred rules I have developed for me.  I call them my personal legalism.  I will be legalistic about these so I  can stay healthy 

Divert Daily

• Sacred mornings every morning (journal, Bible, to do list, prayer) (get up at 6:30 AM)
• Before I go to bed relax in hot tub/bath and meditate  on “go to” Scriptures and sacred documents (The 10:00 PM rule!)
• Extended Quiet Times on Wednesdays and Thursday from 7:30 AM-9:30 AM

Withdrawal Weekly

• Protect four family evenings (Monday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday)
• Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy (Exodus 20:8) (Fridays)
• Protect Monday “Family Meetings”
• Work from “home” on Wednesdays morning  

Monthly Moments

• Monthly  “Study Days” (Wednesdays I don’t speak)  
• Monthly coaching (Dary, Greg, Jeff, etc)
• Monthly spend some time with Eagles (Bret Allen, Dary Northup, Lee McFarland, Les Welk, Rick Ross, etc)
• Monthly “Travel and speak” outside of New Life

Abandon Annually

• Prayer and Planning Retreat with Jana.  (July & December)
• Summer Break (three weeks no speaking, meetings, work from home)
• Three weeks vacation—take them and enjoy.
• Annually—go to a conference or go see great church 
• Only Speak 38 times a year  (eventually only speak 32 time when I am in my fifties)
• See counselor twice a year (July & December)