Stop comparing me to your “Ministry Mistress”
I think there is a dark side to Facebook, Twitter, podcasts and conferences. Information on other pastors and churches is readily available. This has great benefits. We can get ideas quicker, network more effectively and expand the Kingdom of God. I love all these benefits and more.
But here is the dark side. It is dangerous to only see a Mark Driscoll, Andy Stanley or Mark Batterson from a distance. All you see is their good side. There are a few dangerous side effects to this.
You can become discontent with what God is doing in your life and ministry. In reality it is amazing what is happening in your life. But “the grass is greener on the other side” mentality sets in. Listen to me—everything always looks better online, over Facebook or on Twitter. Always. If you actually did ministry with these guys you would find out—they don’t always have big crowds, amazing messages and creative ideas.
Not only can you fall into the trap of comparing these national phenomenas to your ministry, but you can compare them to your pastor. This is dangerous. “My pastor doesn’t preach, lead or look like my mistress.” Dangerous. It is like spiritual pornography. It is like you have a ministry mistress. Every time your pastor leads, you are comparing him to your affair with another minister. Every time you open your mouth in a staff meeting, it reeks of “this is what my ministry mistress does”. All you see is the glamorous side of these leaders. It is actually very sick. It hinders you from being fresh and hearing God yourself. If you are not careful, you become a parrot and not a leader. You are a copy cat, not an original. Your pastor (who signs your paycheck) feels cheated on and can never compare when you are comparing him to your other lover.
The latest idea you have is from the last web site you visited or pod cast you just listened to As you listen to your ministry mistress all you see is the “sexy” side of that minister. He doesn’t have to hold you accountable for results, make sure the budget is right, or bring correction because you are being lazy and not producing results. Of course you like him. I say “go work for him”. You will find they are real human beings that God is using.
This isn’t a blog against Mark Driscoll, Andy Stanley or Mark Batterson. Not at all. I love them. They have helped me dream big and believe God for more. I learn from them. But, I don’t cheat on my church by comparing myself to them. I don’t let the glamour deceive me. This blog is challenging immature leaders to grow up. Learn from other leaders. But, don’t fall into the emotional temptation “the grass is greener on the other side”. It is not. Some of you may actually have to work for someone else to figure this out. Don’t let discontentment set in. Don’t chase after fantasies. Dream big where you are planted. Honor your pastor who is paying your paycheck and giving you a place to hang your hat. Fall in love with the wow and mystery of your church, your pastor, your ministry and your life. Don’t cheat on your church, your pastor and your ministry by always comparing them to your “ministry mistress”
