The greatest challenge for pastors is allowing silly and worthless arguments to waste emotional energy and sidetrack the church from the mission of God.  Silly arguments side track the church more than any gross sin.

Silly arguments over Sunday School, music style, dress code, pet projects, volume of music, preaching style, how the pastor should spend his time, and the list go on and on.

Paul told Timothy, “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.” (2 Timothy 2:23). This may be one of the greatest pieces of wisdom I could give to a pastor or any leader–don’t waste your time on foolish and stupid arguments.

Don’t get me wrong…all these conversations need to happen but don’t let these conversations divide. Discuss but don’t divide over silly and stupid things.

The mission of the church is to partner with God in His mission to the world. Redeem mankind. Make followers of Jesus. Period. Trust me pastor, the temptation is for  ”everyone” (including yourself)  to make the church about their pet project, latest book, or newest fad.

Let me say it again—Silly arguments side track the church more than any gross sin.

Pastor, keep your church on mission.  The church is called to win people and make disciples. No matter how we word this–bottom line—if we are not making disciples of Jesus we are a social club not the thriving church God has called us to be.

How to keep the church on mission:

• Repeat the mission over and over again. (in announcements, daily conversation, and meetings)
• Ground the mission in Biblical theology. In other words, preach the Bible. Show your people how the mission of God is not something we made up.
• Celebrate when your people are on mission.  Don’t celebrate programs, celebrate mission.  Big difference. What you celebrate people will repeat.
• Make financial and facilities decisions based on your mission not the latest fad.
• Staff around your mission, not maintenance. This blog isn’t long enough for me to talk about this..but BIG!

If you could ONLY ask ONE thing from God…what would that be?

Seriously!  Think about this. ONE thing!  Not two. Only one request of God…what would you ask for?

King Solomon had this chance…God appeared to him and said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.” (2 Chronicles 1:7)

Read King Solomon’s ONE request slowly… “Give me wisdom and knowledge, that I may lead this people.” (2 Chronicles 1:10)

God responded and said, ”wisdom and knowledge will be given you.” (2 Chronicles 1:12)

I pray this ONE prayer often–”Give me wisdom.”

• Wisdom to make decisions
• Wisdom  to love my wife
• Wisdom to lead my family
• Wisdom to pastor my church
• Wisdom to live a Godly life
• Wisdom to discern people’s motives
• Wisdom in spending money
• Wisdom in raising my two girls

To be total honest, I would have been tempted to pray something like, “Give me enough wealth that I would never have to worry about money again.”  (don’t hate on me..just being honest).

I know this is counterintuitive to our culture—but wisdom is more valuable than wealth, fame, a job or a long life.  Many people have money but are idiots and their kids hate them…wealth is temporary. Wisdom is eternal.

Mark Batterson said, “Some things cannot be learned. They can only be revealed.” (Primal, Kindle Location 907).

I love reading, studying and learning from mentors and coaches. But at the end of the day—the important things need to be revealved by God not men.  No book can tell me the key to my wife’s heart, discernment into my girls’ futures, or insight into a complex situation. Some things cannot be learned–only revealed.

Back to the story of King Solomon.  God shocks King Solomon and said, “I will also give you wealth, riches and honor.”  (2 Chronicles 1:12).

Talk about irony! King Solomon asked for wisdom—God gives gave him wisdom +  wealth.   God says…I will give you more than you asked for…

As a father, I get this–when my girls ask for wisdom from me, I am willing to open up my checkbook also…(my two girls know this, too…kind of scary).  I am not sure if I am stretching the point here…but a very interesting observation for sure…….When we ask for wisdom–God will give us our daily bread.  Even sometimes wealth.  Bottom line–God the Father will take care of you.

My challenge to you..stop right now…you may be at work, at home by yourself, or in a Starbucks reading this…STOP!  Pray this out loud–BODLY..I want to hear you from my family room where I am writing this….”Father God, give me wisdom.  Amen!”

Every organization, church and family has what I call an “Operating System”. An OS determines how decisions are made, priorities are defined and programs are designed. We all have underlying assumptions that manage our leadership or personal hardware.

I am convinced that many  churches are trying to do ministry with a “Macintosh Plus” in a “Macbook Pro world”. The pastor takes off his or her tie or changes the music style and wonders why nothing happens. This would be like me trying to download iTunes on a Macintosh computer. It would shut down the computer.

As a leader you can’t simply download a new fancy  application–you have to change your OS. You have to change your thinking, processes, and all underlining assumptions about leadership and your life.

Here are three words that I share with leaders about how to step up their game:  Less is More.  Stop doing so many things!  Focus your energy.  Learn to say NO.  ”Less is More”  is an invisible OS that impacts everything we do at New Life.

Steve Jobs’ advice to the new CEO of Google who took over this year:

“The main thing I stressed was to focus,” Jobs told Isaacson about his conversation with Page. “Figure out what Google wants to be when it grows up. It’s now all over the map. What are the five products you want to focus on? Get rid of the rest because they’re dragging you down. They’re turning you into Microsoft. They’re causing you to turn out adequate products that are adequate but not great.”

I love the wisdom of Steve Jobs, “Get rid of the rest because they’re dragging you down!”

What is dragging you down?  What do you need to stop doing right now? What do you need to delegate? What do you need to hit the delete button on?

Less is more!!!!!!!  Say this out loud over and over again…LESS IS MORE!!!!

My coaching to leaders, pastors, parents, young adults is:

• Fewer meetings
• Fewer programs (or products)
• Fewer appointments
• Fewer evenings working
• Fewer emails
• Fewer announcements
• Fewer goals
• Fewer projects

One practical application for me of “less is more” is preaching. I only preach 38 times a year. I meet pastors who preach almost every Sunday + prepare a Wednesday night Bible study + visit everyone in the hospital + listen to Christians gripe all week.  This in insanity.  No wonder your church isn’t growing. No wonder your spouse is bitter…..less is more!!!!!! Trust me, I preach better 38 times a year than 52 times a year.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

Here is a homework assignment–make a “Stop Doing List”….what will you stop doing?  It may be checking your emails in the evening or getting rid of some program or product that is dead weight or working on your day off.  STOP doing something today.  Gain three yards today.

The question comes to me in all types of ways:

• Some are upset that we don’t do Simply Worship more often
• Some are concerned this will impact their family times
• Some feel conflicted because of their involvement in Growth Groups
• Some feel conflicted because of sports, school events, kids’ bedtime, and work.

Here is why New Life gathers six times a year for a night of worship:

1.  Unites the church.

New Life is One church. Two campuses.  On Sunday we have six different services, over 150 growth groups throughout the week, serving opportunities literally every day of the week and a very active children’s and student ministry.  Six times a year, we shut all this down to come together as ONE church.

The Acts 2 churches were united in the presence of God.  Something powerful happens when all we come together in worship!

2. Kids need to see mom and dad worship

On Sundays we have Children’s ministry that teaches our kids how to love Jesus, but I am a firm believer this responsiblity starts at home.  This is SO big for me that we have created Simply Worship where kids can watch Mom and Dad love Jesus. Where students can see adults go hard after God. Where we can model something powerful to the next generation.

3. Simply Worship provides an environment for spontaneous and extended worship 

There is something powerful about setting aside the clock and just worshipping Jesus. No clock. No schedule. No agenda. Just a short teaching and worship.  I can’t explain this. But trust me, it is refreshing and powerful.

Why doesn’t New Life  provide Simply Worship more often? Because we want everyone growing in a growth group and serving their community!  We don’t want to over-organize “the church” so that people don’t have time for their families, hangout with neighbors and become SO busy for God they don’t know God, spouse, kids or neighbors.

Being busy for God is not the scorecard for New LIfe. Knowing God. Loving people.  Making disciples and being missionaries to our marketplace and world  is the missional scorecard for New Life.

See you tonight!

Every leader will be criticized.  The reality is I speak to over 3,000 people every weekend + I write and live a very public life.  Fair and unfair criticism is part of the deal.

Recently I had a couple of people make some strong statements against me.  One of them is James Sundquist from Rock Salt Publishing.  He has sent emails out about me.  I am endeavoring to have a one on one meeting with him.

So–how does a leader respond when someone gives you what seems to be unfair and unfounded criticism? Here is what I do….

 1–I listen.

God speaks through people.  In Scripture He spoke through a jackass. Sometimes people give the criticism correctly, sometimes they don’t.  My response is to listen as much as possible.  One of my core values is to be a lifetime learner. I have found listening to people is essential to personal growth. I admit sometimes this is difficult because the person is such an idiot.  But, nevertheless, the art of listening is fundamental to leadership.

2–I journal.

Is this true?  Is there any part of this I need to process?  Writing my thoughts down helps me clarify the take aways, process the comments, strengthens my leadership skills and hear the voice of God.

3–I search Scripture.

I compare my actions, motives and the issue with Scripture.  The Bible is my final authority.  I am not saying the person needs a scripture for every talking point.  I am saying I must rely on Scripture to shape every decision I make. Example, some have criticized me saying,  ”Your church doesn’t have a choir so you are not a New Testament church.”….Really?  You may or may not be right if we should do choir, but you are wrong to say or imply Scripture says a church must have a choir.  (BTW-I actually like choirs however for practical reasons we don’t have one currently.)

4–I walk under authority.

Depending on the criticism, I ask my elders, core pastors and even involved Network leaders if I have to.  I believe every leader needs to have authority they walk under (BTW–if the person giving you criticism doesn’t walk under authority, this is a dangerous sign.  They may have something good to say, but ultimately if they don’t walk under authority they lose credibility in my book.)

5–I vent.

Ok, I am normal.  I have a few trusted people in my life I feel comfortable venting to.  They know I am venting.  They know this is how I work through stuff like this.  These are people who make sure I don’t let bitterness get in my soul.  These are the people who know me so well–that if I start venting from the pulpit they will call me on it.  (there is a difference between venting and preaching…another blog )

6–I talk with my wife.

Jana hears from God.  She knows me.  She can help me process truth vs. stupid stuff.

7–I endeavor to meet with the person one on one.

It always amazes me how critics don’t like this.  So many critics are cowards who hide behind email, blogging, and the “prophet” card.  I may be old-fashioned–but criticism should be in person–one on one.  BTW–if you have something to say to your pastor–don’t do it in the lobby on a Sunday or a Saturday night email.  Call the office and set up an appointment.  Do it with humility and character.

8–I learn and move on.

I consider every critique an opportunity to learn and grow.  Just like any book–I don’t agree with all of it..but I can learn.

James said that teachers will be judged more strictly.  (James 3:1). This Scripture scares me to death.  If you are a preacher or teacher (or maybe a small group leader or a parent who wants your kids to know the Bible—-I pray for you.  I pray God’s favor on you)

You may think you are not making a difference—but you are a chef.  People may not remember exactly what they “eat” but their diet matters.  If you are apart of someone’s else’s spiritual diet—I pray this blog would be helpful.

Here are three prayers I pray before I preach.  Two hours before any message you will find me praying these three things alone in some office or private place.

1–Anointing. 

I pray God would anoint me.  Paul said that his preaching and teaching was not with wise and persuasive words–but in demonstration of the Spirit’s power.  (1 Cor 2:1-5)

Read these two Scriptures from Paul the apostle closely:

“My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power.” 1 Corinthians 2:4

“Because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake.” (1 Thess 1:5)

As preachers we desperately need God’s anointing and power.  For what it’s worth–I will often open my Bible to 1 Corinthians 2:1-5 and read it out loud.

2–Authority 

I pray God would help me preach the Word (I Tim 4).  Not my opinion.  Not my ideas.

Our “authority” comes from Scripture not culture or position.  I only have authority as I open up Scripture and rightly describe the Word of God.

If you are a preacher—I beg of you not to preach your opinion, ideas or even pop culture. Preach the Word.

There was  a famous commercial back in the 80′s by Wendy’s. I loved it–over and over old ladies would ask,  ”Where’s the beef?”  I listen to many messages and ask the same question–”Where’s the beef?”

Now don’t get me wrong….we need the condiments—we need the salt and pepper, but when it is all said and done–people need beef to chew on.

One of the comments preachers hate hearing is, “I’m not getting fed”.  I agree.  I hate this comment.  People need to learn to feed themselves.  People need to learn to obey what they know–not simply add more head knowledge.  I get this.  I agree with this.  But from time to time every preacher needs to ask, “Where’s the beef?” in your message.

The beef of Scripture is where authority is found–not the creativity of your ideas.

A mantra New Life uses all the time—”content before creativity”.  In other words–beef before condiment.  Substance before style.

3–Authenticity. 

I pray I would be myself.  Be authentic.  Moments of humor.  Moments the people would see my heart.

Stop trying to be like your favorite podcast speaker.  Be yourself.  Share your own struggles and stories.  BE REAL.  Find your own voice, personality and gifts.

Every Sunday before I stand to preach I remind myself—don’t take yourself too seriously.  People don’t want you to be polished–they want you to be human.

Laugh at yourself. Share stories from your life.  Take a deep breath and enjoy preaching.

Be authentic.  Be Real.  Be yourself.

This is true for whoever you are— mom, dad, leader, manager or leader–being busy can be a curse.

There is something inside us–we like to gripe about being busy.  Stop griping and do something about it.

Complaining about being busy is particularly true for ministers.  I hear wives complain the “church” keeps my husband too busy.  Listen to me ladies—read this closely.  If your husband is too busy—it has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MINISTRY.  Either he doesn’t want to be home with you or he is being sloppy with his time management in his life.

8 Ways to Organize yourself.

#1:  Start the day by “organizing yourself”

For me this is in the morning.  I have my quiet time (read the Bible, pray and journal) before I start the day.   During my quiet time I spend a few moments making a to do list and working my calendar.

I don’t know what this looks like for you—but find a time to prepare for the day.  Spend a few minutes in your car before you walk into the office, stop at Starbucks, or at breakfast…for me I go into my den before I start the day.

This is BIG—don’t miss it.  Taking a few moments every day to “organize” yourself is essential.

#2:  Create a ”To Do” list

Before I start the day, I create a “to do” list.  I am consistently surprised how many people don’t use the basic skill of a to do list. Just writing things down will help you prioritize.

Here are a few tips for your “to do” list:

• For what it’s worth–I use a pad of paper for this.  I do almost everything electronically.  I am not against this, but this is one area I treat almost like a “journal”.
• I use what I call the “ABC” priority system.  A–it must be done today. B–if would be great if done today.  C–done this week.
• Every task I have four options: Do it. Delegate it. Delete it. Defer it.. But don’t ignore it.

#3:  Work your calendar.

Your calendar is your life.  Don’t just put this in the hands of your assistant.  Work it.  Say yes.  Say no.  Look ahead 3 months, 6 months and even a year.  If there is too much going on—SAY NO.

I have created a set of rules for my calendar that both my wife and assistant know.  (when I meet with people, when I study, nights at home, stuff like this)

I have scheduled on my calendar:

• Writing and Reading times
• Message preparation
• When I meet with people
• When I DON’T meet with people
• Nights I don’t work
• My sabbath
• Vacations
• Date night with my wife

#3: Watch Distractions

Watch distractions like emails, meetings, blogs, facebook and twitter.  Lots of wasted time.  You are robbing yourself, your company and your family.

Your spouse or kids would love to spend that hour with you that you wasted reading blogs or sending out that stupid tweet.

#5:  Ask–how much time does this task cost? Pay no more! Negotiate less.

This is HUGE.  People simply spend too much time doing things.  Everything is only worth what it is worth.  No more.

Remember Parkinson’s law: Work expands so as to fill the time available for it’s completion. I totally agree.

Example: it can take me 1 hour or 5 hours to clean my office.  Say—I will work on this project for one hour.   And be done.   We waste so much time on projects that should only take us half the time.

I set my appointments for 30 minutes not 45.  I get more done in 30 minutes than I do 45 minutes.  Easy.

#6:  Honor the Sabbath + Evenings off

You need to unplug and declutter your life. There needs to be time where you ARE NOT checking emails, playing on your phone and worried about work. Work hard and then play hard.

Instead of griping about being busy, ask:

• What evenings do I take off?
• What day is my sabbath?
• Then take these tips and use them.

So many leaders waste time AT work because they don’t unplug when they are NOT at work.  I could go on and on here..I won’t.  Maybe another blog.

#7:  Make a “Stop” doing list.

One of my favorite things to do is to make a “Stop Doing List”.  Just say no.  Stop doing something.  I am shocked how often I will stop doing something or delegate it to some one else and no one notices or cares.

Here is one example:  I stopped preaching 52 Sundays a year.  I only preach 38 times.  No more.  I don’t prepare for a Wednesday night Bible study, Sunday night gig, etc.  My goal is to preach 32-35 times. I know some pastors who prepare 80-100 messages a year + they visit all the hospital calls.  I don’t.  I prepare 38.  Sounds simple.  This is BIG!!!!!  Only preparing 38 messages allows me to be fresh, think about other things, spend time with the family, raise up other leaders and SO much more.

#8:  Improve your skills.

You don’t have more time in life.  Impossible.  Only 24 hours in a day.  However, you have more skills.

Why does it take some people one hour to do something and others 3 hours to do the same task?  Skill and experience.  Every time I improve ONE skill I simply can get more done in less time.

I don’t know what this may be for you. Maybe you can take a computer class and save yourself tons of time each week because you know the computer better.  Maybe you can read a book on delegation and harness this skill better.

Never again blame_____________ (fill the blank) for being busy.

If you are disorganized or too busy—look in the mirror.  Don’t blame your church, spouse or job.  Never again make comments like–work is busy or my boss wants me to work too much.

I have seven core values in life. One of them is “Lifetime Learner”. This is why I commit the time and energy to reading, writing, learning and continuing education.

Here are the “Top 10″ insights from 32 hours of lecture and discussion.

#1:  Find your voice.

Every leader has something burning inside. You have a message inside of you.  Don’t copy someone’s “voice”.  Find your own voice. The true test is “What do you talk all the time to your spouse about?” This may give you an indication of your voice.

#2:  Humans want to be the center of the universe.

We need to crucify this nature. First, we have to be honest about our selfish nature. We need to consistently ask honest questions about who is receiving the glory here. Who is this about? You or Jesus?

#3: Every leader needs reverse mentors.

We need emerging leaders to mentors us.  Watch any parent with a teenager and you will see reverse mentoring. Parents ask their teenagers all the time about technology.

#4:  Ask the wife, she will always tells the truth.

If you really want to know what is happening at a church or some ministry–ask the wife.  This is painfully true.

#5:  Leaders are writers.

What a challenge for me personally.  If you want to have influence you need to write.

#6: Tolerance is a poor substitute for love.

Love sent Jesus to the cross, not tolerance.  So many thoughts spinning in my head on this thought.

#7: Read outside of your discipline.

#8: Laugh at yourself.

Humor diffuses all types of things. I am not sure if Dr. Creps ever stated this in these exact words. But all week he modeled how we can’t take ourselves to seriously. People in our culture need to see us laugh.

#9: Think like a North American missionary.

This is a mental shift for most pastors.  How do I become a missionary in my community? Missional is more than a buzz word. It is easy to focus on the people inside the walls of the church.  How about the ones who have never attended our gatherings or NEVER WILL?  Missionaries learn the language, culture, assumptions and values of the people they are reaching.

#10: Don’t chase the standard, set the standard.

There is no silver bullet. Leaders listen to the voice of the Spirit!  Leaders need to know their context, culture and gift mix–and SET the standard in the place God has put them.

This statement has influenced me big time in the last 25 years.

Disagreement is honorable IF you do it in an HONORABLE way.

How do you show honor when you disagree?  How do you disagree with your boss in an honorable way? (really anyone—your spouse, parents, business partner, neighbor, etc)

# 1: Do it privately.

This is fundamental. Only disagree with your boss privately, not in front of people.  This goes for Pastors, don’t air your disagreement with your board before the church. Managers, don’t gripe about your boss’ decision in the break room. Ok, you get it.

# 2: Ask Questions.

Before you disagree…make sure you know IF you  truly disagree.  Start with questions.  Like, “Help me understand your reasoning on this? What exactly do you feel about this?” Ask questions before you disagree.

#3: Understand you don’t see the big picture.

THIS IS BIG.  You may be right or you may be wrong. But understand this—if you are not the boss–you don’t see the big picture.

#4: Don’t make it “either/or”.

Don’t have the attitude–either you agree with me or…I’m leaving, you’re wrong or I won’t bring my A game to the table. Honestly, grow up!

#5: Choose your battles.

Not everything is worth fighting about.  Matter of fact, few things are worth fighting about.

#6 Don’t let it get personal.

Don’t attack. Keep your own personal agenda out of the way.  Avoid words like “always” and “never”. Before you discuss your thoughts make sure you detox your gut. Is there something inside your spirit that is influencing this conversation?

#7: Don’t disagree over email or text.

This should be obvious. But texting your boss—”Hey, I disagree with ur decision”…is not wise. (btw–spell out “your” when texting the boss)

#8: Be loyal.

If loyalty means you have to always agree– you do not have a good grip of loyalty. Loyalty means I stand with you EVEN when we disagree.

#9: Be willing to change your mind.

I know this will surprise you–but you may be wrong or not have all the facts to even have an opinion.  Be willing to change your mind or at least adjust your perspective.

#10: Disagree. Dialog. and then move on! Period.

Colin Powell said, “When we are debating an issue, loyalty means giving me your honest opinion, whether you think I’ll like it or not. Disagreement, at this stage, stimulates me. But once a decision has been made, the debate ends. From that point on, loyalty means executing the decision as if it were your own.”

Question: How do you disagree with someone in an honorable way?