Troy H. Jones

For the last 10 years I have done what I call prayer and planning retreats. I started this habit in 1999.  I have been taking notes on each of them every year.  Recently Jana has just joined me. I do these twice a year. One in December (to reflect on year and get ready for next year) and one in July (mid year check up)

They are simple.  I go to a hotel for two nights.  I eat meals with Jana and spend the rest of the time by myself.  I pray and plan.  Typically I break these into 2-3 hours chunks of time.  (we may sneak away for a movie and some other fun things)

Here is what I do:

• Pray
• Read Bible
• Journal (ask myself tough questions)
• Reflect on personal core values and personal mission statement
• Review personal goals
• Review what I call road rules and “one rules” in my life
• Ask God for a new dream
• Sleep
• Read a book
• Write out  prayers
• Listen to a pod cast
• Write a letter to someone
• Call a friend
• Take an honest look at my spiritual and emotional life
• Review goals for new life
• Write
• Think about next years teaching series
• Thank God for life

The toughest part of this is doing it.  Putting it on the calendar and saying–yes I am getting away. 

I can’t tell you the benefit of this time.  Jesus withdrew from the crowds.  He needed time alone…if Jesus needed time alone–how much more do I need time alone? 

If  I don’t spend time alone–I will have nothing to give when I am with people.

I don’t typically cut and paste some article off the web site.  However I found this article very helpful. Life can be so stressful.  We need to stop and find ways to enjoy life.  

So, now that you realize how destructive stress can be in your life, what are you going to do about it? Here is what I found helpful:

• Laugh. It may sound silly, but laughter not only supplies oxygen to your body, it creates movement. I am personally addicted to episodes of “Absolutely Fabulous” but I have been known to slip an occasional “Fawlty Towers” cassette into my player and roll on the floor in hysterics.
• Sing. The benefits of singing are numerous, especially if you learn to sing from your diaphragm (the part beneath your rib cage… not the one in your drawer!!) I especially recommend doing it in a foreign language so as to eliminate the embarrassment of not remembering the words.
• Dance. There is nothing more stress relieving than an attack of “Happy Feet.” It doesn’t matter what style you choose, just move and breathe and feel the rhythm of the music.
• Walk. Take 15 minutes a day to soak in the sunshine. Not only will you improve your mood but it can help you lose weight by adjusting your melatonin cycle and making you more responsive to insulin.219
• Pose. Just making yourself be still can help blow off steam. Yoga or meditation are ways to lower the stress hormones. For others, running helps them meditate in motion. If you’re feeling stressed, assume the balance pose or T posture. Begin by standing comfortably, arms at your sides, and slowly fold forward from the hips. Extend your arms past your ears and bring your torso parallel to the ground. Simultaneously extend your left leg straight behind you. Breathe deeply and aim for stillness. Gently come back to your standing position and switch sides.
• Primp. Pamper yourself. Remember, you’re a goddess and worth every cent you earn or spend. Take a bubble bath, a steam shower or soak in a hot tub filled with flower petals.
• Sleep. Get to bed by 9:00 PM. Melatonin levels start to rise around 9:30 so pay attention to how much light you are exposed to in a 24 hour period. At least 9 hours of sleep are required by your body to reset your biological clock and improve your insulin sensitivity.
• Inhale. Pay attention to aromas. Cleopatra soaked the sails of her ship in fragrant oils to announce her approach to Rome. Try relaxing oils of ylang ylang, bergamot, tuberose, motia or orange soaked on a cotton ball. Inhaling a fragrance can stir pleasing memories which cause endorphins, the body’s natural pain killers, to be released. Burn a candle or put a diffuser in your room. Just a few whiffs of lavender oil can lull you to sleep.
• Pray. Prayer-walking, also known as “walking meditation” provides an easy way to be active and relieve stress. It can be a meandering saunter down a garden path or a brisk march around a track. The point is to walk with prayerful intentions realizing that your journey is an interior one.
• Post inspirational quotes around your work area and be thankful for being alive. There’s more to life than you’ll ever realize and every day brings new chances to share.

 

From The Menopause Diet, by Larrian Gillespie. Copyright © 1999 by Healthy Life Publications.

Twice a year I do a praying and planning retreat.  This is a time to spend time with Jesus and my wife.  I do this for 2 nights and three days.  I love it.  It is priceless.  I have been doing this  for 10 years of my life.  Amazing to see how God uses this time to shape my life.

I do the prayer and planning twice a year…one in summer and end of the year.  I am on one of my prayer and planning retreats as I type this. 

People ask…what are some things you do on a prayer and planning retreat?

Here is a list of things I have been doing for a decade of personal retreats.

1. Spend time walking and praying
2. Read Bible for extended times
3. Journal
4. Find new worship songs and worship Jesus 
5. Review past journal entries
6. Read a book
7. Do  something special for my wife
8. Call a old friend
9. Reflect on last year “lessons learned”
10. Calendar planning for 2009
11. Work on my personal “Core values”
12. Work on lifetime goals
13. Work on personal annual goals
14. Work on personal changes in my  life 
15. Determine “Direction and Focus” for  next season of life and church 
16. Work on future teaching series
17. Read one book on retreat
18. Listen to a good podcast
19. Write a blog (I am doing this now)
20. Watch  a movie
21. Cry  and laugh 
22. Just  be silent
23. Get a cup of coffee by myself

As I read my Bible everyday I try to find one Scripture that  I put on a 3 x 5 card and carry with me throughout the day.  I reflect and meditate  on this one Scripture throughout the day. Then I add it to a document that I put on my iphone called  my “go to” Scriptures. 

On Saturday  I read a Scripture that I felt like was my first time reading it.  I have read it hundreds of other times.  But, for some reason this Scripture jumped off the page and made me think and ask myself some gut  wrenching questions.

I love the Scripture.  I  love how practical the Bible is. 

Psalms 78:72

“And David Shepherded them with  integrity of  heart; with  skillful hands he led them”

I  love how simple, concise and profound this Scripture is.  The problem in ministry so many don’t understand we need both–a heart filled with integrity and skillful hands.  If we lack one of these we will hinder our leadership. 

A heart of integrity 

• Do you have a heart filled with integrity? 
• Does your  heart desire to be like Jesus?
• Are there any hints of bitterness in your  heart?
• Do you have any hints of sexual garbage in your heart?
• How is your heart?
• When you miss a day or two with Jesus, does your heart  miss it?
• Do you exaggerate numbers, stories, facts—is your heart filled with integrity?
• How is your prayer  life?
• When is the last time you cried?
• When is the last time you laughed?
• When is the last time you gave?
• Do you care more about position than the mission of God?
• Are you a servant?
• Are you teachable? 

What other questions would be good to add to this list?

Skillful hands

Many people think all we need is God in ministry.  We can’t do ministry without the supernatural.  We also need skillful hands.  God gives us skillful hands.   Here is the deal–I hate flying.  When I fly I would be scared to death if the  pilot said, “I have a good heart–but really don’t know how to fly”.   I don’t care if the pilot is cussing—my question is do you have the skill to fly this plane?   For sure  pastoral leadership is different.  I don’t want the pastor cussing.  But, we have a lot of pastors who don’t cuss but they have pathetic people skills, work ethics, time management, leadership, problem solving, and team building.  This is why people won’t follow  you. 

Why should that  mom in your church follow you when she cares more about her towels than you do your sermons?(just a question)

• What kind of skills do you have?
• What are you doing to grow  your ministry  skills?
• What are you  doing to grow your speaking?  (some of us haven’t  listened to ourselves speak for years.  This is a shame)
• Do you have people giving you input on your skills?
• Do you have a coach?
• How  are your skills limiting you?  What are you going to do about this?

What other  questions would be good to add to this list?

In this  one Scripture we find enough meat to chew on for a long time.  Chew on it.  Think about it.  As we go into 2009 maybe this is all we have to care about…hearts that  love Jesus and filled with intergity  and skillful  hands.

 

Who Contributed?

I emailed 20 people I respect with one question, “What are you doing now to foster spiritual and emotional health 20 years from now?” I received back incredible and insightful responses.  I took seven of these emails and created this document.  These are random thoughts and insights from people I respect.   I looked at these seven emails and created the following categories as I saw themes and common threads of thought.   Many of these thoughts are directed towards Lead/Senior Pastors, but all leaders will find incredible insights. (I sure did!)

 

Here are the seven people who contributed to these thoughts through emails interaction:

Alan Johnson 

·        Les Welk

·        Jeffery Portmann

·        Marc Pearson

·        Mel Ming

·        Pat Schatzline

·        Wes Davis

Thoughts on Bible Study  

 

Thoughts on Prayer

• I use travel time often for just plain speaking in tongues. The more options you are employing the less dry things are likely to get. I am seeking to add corporate prayer by making prayer appointments with leaders, since I don’t have the luxury of having a single local church and building nearby.
• Incorporate regular times of fasting at varying intervals. I myself am not a long time faster, but I do fast Friday’s and then do 2 and 3 day ones like at least once per quarter. Being really active in my work, going longer makes it a bit harder.
• You see David fell because he tried to be a king instead of remaining a worshiper who worked at the palace. I made up my mind I never wanted to fall or quit.
• I regained my prayer life.  So that means I go to bed earlier to get up early. I really started hanging out with God.  I know that sounds trite, but I had never had that type of walk. Now Jesus and I are great friends.
• One of our elders and former pastor meets with me every other week just for prayer

Thoughts on Getting Away

• Get away for “thinking” – time alone to contemplate, think, pray, cry, call out to God, look at the sunset.  Mainly to think and clear away the cobwebs.
• I found when pastoring I had to take a 24-48 hour retreat away from church and people every month. I would usually leave after noon, arrive and check in about 3 pm. Spend some time reading. I tended to only take my Bible, notepad, prayer lists, personal planner and maybe a book. I just found I had to have the time to be the leader I needed to be.
• Spending quality “alone” time, to include spending nights away locked up in a hotel room by myself.
•  I have found when you go into ministry it is because you want to be seen, but when you get in ministry you want to hide! 
• Take naps, lay on the floor and read a novel for 15 minutes in the middle of the day, find a form of exercise where you can get outside and get away from phones and people, sit in a warm bath and soak. Small treats and breaks at the daily level can give you the energy to keep up for the long haul.
• Twice a year I get away.  I bring my wife with me.  But, she  knows this is  my time to pray, plan and refocus. 

Thoughts on Character

• Listen to the inner red flags of your life.  This is the Holy Spirit convicting and guiding you.
• Tell the truth to myself and everyone else.
• Live like an open book so no one can rightly accuse me of doing wrong (and when I do make it right immediately)
• I have found that ministry is a great mask to reality. I didn’t want to be like old guys in ministry that are just that- OLD! These are some things that I have had to do to protect family time, personal devotion time, study time, and the never ending appetite of the ministry. 
• I have covenant eyes on my computer. My  wife gets a report.

Thoughts on being in the Community 

·        Get out into the real world and hang out with people, see people, look at them in the eye, not in your position, but just as a fellow human being who follows Christ.

·        Go down and ride a public bus through S King county, walk around neighborhoods and see what people are doing. Go hang out with people at their place of business.

·        You will be renewed as the Spirit put’s his view of people and your city into you. It keeps ministry from being mechanical and technical.

• I’m the volunteer assistant basketball coach at Central Kitsap High School (it forces me to have to put energy into something that’s not directly newlife

 Thoughts about Physical Fitness

·        Physical fitness is a spiritual discipline I practice. And I can tell those seasons of my life that I am doing well or poorly in practicing it! Everything in my life is better when I work out regularly!

·        Picked up on physical exercise, walking 1 to 2 miles per day

• I rejoined the gym.  I got back in shape and became very guarded of my mornings.

Thoughts on being a Husband

• My wife and I are on the same page and understand that each will have to give and take from time to time but setting aside time to get away – whether a big vacation or one night of fun is essential for us to stay fresh. When there is something ahead on the horizon that is life-giving and refreshing it allows the day in day out wear of ministry to be lighter.
• A healthy sex life is essential so we plan times to enjoy each other as well as have spontaneous moments during the week. (The older the boys get the easier this has become!)
• We put fun things on our calendar (Including but not limited to vacation) so that we have something to look forward to.
• Keep my marriage healthy and growing.  If and when there’s a problem in my marriage, I can’t focus on anything else intently with my heart.
• My wife and I quit talking ministry at home. We have gotten back to having fun together and enjoying life.
• My wife and I do everything together.  That was a little different due to traveling all of those years, but it has really taken us to another level.
• I spend my whole day off with my wife.  We run errands, pay bills, make love, buy groceries together, have coffee together, go and see a movie…we love our day off

Thoughts as being a Dad

• I can easily get consumed with ministry and lose sight of the fact that my first ministry is to my family.
• I have been on vacation with my family for the past two weeks in a very peaceful and private cabin on Hayden Lake.  It was wonderful.  That is one of the keys to mental health I would put toward the top of the list–making quality time for family and keeping it an obvious priority.  We have never regretted doing so as our children have grown and shown the fruit of our efforts.  When your 30 year old son and family want to vacation with you, it is deeply gratifying.
• I make my family the centerpiece of my  life
• Keep focused on my family – even when my kids are grown–they are still my primary spiritual focus.  I will not sacrifice my family for the church.  The church knows this and so does my family as I’ve stated it openly many times, the last time being last Sunday.
• No matter what I go to my son’s high school football practices/ games.  I also attend my daughter’s ballet/ dance classes weekly (most of the time.)
• Since my son is a teen I always allow the youth at our home.  It keeps it real.
• Monday night is our family meetings.  We keep this short.  We discuss the week. Read a passage of scripture (no comments from me) and then I pray over the family. I have found once a week is healthy.

Thoughts on Money

• I want be able to “live and give” without working by the age of 60.
• Keep away from financial conflict and debt – live within your means, have a clear plan, Carol is fully knowledgeable of every aspect of our income, accounts, payments, investments, insurance, etc., and in agreement.  Otherwise, this stuff also drains you and keeps you up at night.
• I started doing outside ventures with finances.  My goal is to be free from the church paying me in five years.  I love the business community. I eat lunch with 30 business guys a month for a dinner I host and we grow ideas.  I call it Corporate Influencers.  It is taking off. I got the idea from Larry Stockstill.  He challenged me to do it and it is amazingly refreshing.  It has allowed me to get out of the typical religious meetings. I love it. It is a hobby for me.
• Both my wife and I work on the finances. She  pays the bills—I plan for future.  I

Thoughts about Relationships

• We have normal friendships that many pastors don’t from what I hear
• I have regular accountability conversations with a few key guys in my life.
• I meet once a year with the same group of guys for two nights and three days of fun, idea sharing, prayer, deep and honest sharing about struggles and challenges we’re facing. We fight for each other in prayer and stand as brothers. We call it Sinai and this Sept. will be our 13th time of meeting.
• Found a “neutral” person to share my deepest thoughts and feelings with who is not connected with anyone else in my normal circle of friends.
• Build authentic relationships by being purposeful and intentional.
• Resolve every conflict to the extent possible – unresolved ones are draining and confusing.  Seek forgiveness before you reason yourself into thinking you’re right.
• Get close to some deep Christians – lean on them, trust them with my life, watch them operate.  I’ve done this and there is no substitute.

Thoughts on Personal Organization

• The Margin Rule – I live with the rule that you can’t put something into the basket unless you take something out
• I have found that I can get everything done in the office by spending two solid days a week in there. (from a Senior pastor—I don’t believe is true for associates—Troy)
• I stopped doing more than one lunch a week with people. Lunches were killing me.
• I let our church know that I don’t counsel.  We give a number out of a great counseling firm.  I do meet with people for coaching, but no counseling.  I had to due to the fact I realized I was really unprepared and did not have the patience.
• I receive emails from all staff on Friday with their weekly update to stay always in the loop. From that I stay on top of the daily/ weekly etc. It really helps me and the staff to communicate.
• Because we are such a young church we have tried to run it like a church of 5000.  So I have realized my entire portfolio is mainly: vision casting, people touching, finance over sight, and teaching of the word. I can’t be all things.
• I have chosen to have fun again in ministry.  So I play golf at least once every two weeks and I travel every six weeks on a Sunday.  The traveling allows me to catch vision that I cannot get at home.  God speaks to me more when I am away from everything.
• I realized phone calls and emails can’t rule my life.  That is why I love my black berry. 
• I decided to lead my staff with real expectations.  Mistakes are now moments of coaching instead lectures of pain. I started mentoring more our team.  Coaching is fun for me. 

Thoughts on Sermon Preparation

• I hide one day a week and let no one disturb me in order to sermon prep.  It usually takes about four hours, but I really enjoy my study time.
• Have other  people write a whole teaching series
•  One of my staff wrote the last teaching series “American Idols and other sacred cows – Brandon is writing the next – “Samson: sex, lies, and really long hair” – I’m teaching them how to put a series together
• Read more, read widely, and work on biblical exegesis. Not as sermon preparation, but as the fount for preaching.
• You obviously need time for the next week’s message. But for instance in 2008 you should be building the exegetical and conceptual base for stuff you will do in 2009.
• So it is almost like there are two separate tracks running. One feeds the other, and never do either of those inside of the devotional time. Devotional time needs to be a different type of deal. This kind of practice will keep you fresh over time.
• I have blocks of time throughout the week I prepare for messages.  Wednesday morning from home is one of these. Once a month (Wednesday after  elders meeting) I take the whole day to plan for future messages.

Thoughts on “Numbers”

• I realized the church will never be big enough, and the ministry simply could never fulfill all of my dreams. Only Jesus could. So I changed my success chart for each week.
• I have changed the way I think church has to be each Sunday.  Meaning numbers are huge for me, but they were ruining my life.  So now I do not get the giving report till Monday, I always ask for a round number for attendance at the end of each month.
• I also stopped being who I wasn’t on Sunday.  I was trying to be Andy Stanley. So instead I go for it on Sunday. I made it fun again. I began to allow the Holy Spirit to move more (not weird just intimate). We then doubled in size in three months. I still desire to be the best and biggest, but I also understand that growing so fast makes us pretty unstable.

Thoughts on My Staff

• I finally empowered our staff.  My executive pastor handles everything for me.  I meet with the whole team on Tuesday, but he handles a lot of the stuff.
• The executive pastor runs the finances, the elder team, and the operations team (admin,)
• Only way to maintain health is hire an executive pastor
• Interesting thought:  The executive pastor leads our Tuesday Table (staff) – the standing rule is if I have something to say I will let him know – otherwise we eat, we read the Bible, we pray, we celebrate, and we learn.
• I don’t have an admin asst and I don’t take appts.  My executive pastor and I share an office (it’s part of our collaboration value – nobody has their own office but we have offices (living room style) that are open if you need to get alone.  

 

 

 

 

 

I know this may sound too cheesy for some. But, I truly believe the tongue has the power of life and death.  On my iphone I carry with me some powerful defining statements.  I pray these over my life.  I reflect and think on them often.  In my car, during my quiet times and before I go to bed. 

Who do you want to become spirtually?  What do you want your heart to be like? 

Here is what I pray over my life often.

My Declaration

My heart reflects Jesus

I feel deeply

I cry and laugh out loud

I am alive emotionally and spiritually

I have a spark in my eyes

I have energy in my steps

I feel the presence of God

I listen and follow my intuition and discernment

I find joy in small things

At bedtime I search my heart and I am silent

In the morning I am unhurried and reflective

I hunger for the Word of God

My heart burns for the Scriptures

The overflow of my heart speaks life, Jesus and good things

The peace of God umpires my heart in every decision I make

God creates in me a clean heart everyday

The Holy Spirit convicts me of sin, guides me into truth and walks with me everyday

In the past year  I have been asking myself “how  can I  maintain spiritual and emotional health?”  Way to many people get older and bitter all at the same time. I want to get older and wiser.  I want to wake up one day and still love Jesus, my wife, my kids and my church.  This won’t happen on accident.  The  only thing that  happens on accident is we drift spiritually, we hold grudges, and we let the fun of life slip away.  I  want to stay fresh, I  want to grow and I want to be alive. 

 

Here are four sacred rules I have developed for me.  I call them my personal legalism.  I will be legalistic about these so I  can stay healthy 

 

Divert Daily

• Sacred mornings every morning (journal, Bible, to do list, prayer) (get up at 6:30 AM)
• Before I go to bed relax in hot tub/bath and meditate  on “go to” Scriptures and sacred documents (The 10:00 PM rule!)
• Extended Quiet Times on Wednesdays and Thursday from 7:30 AM-9:30 AM

 

Withdrawal Weekly

• Protect four family evenings (Monday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday)
• Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy (Exodus 20:8) (Fridays)
• Protect Monday “Family Meetings”
• Work from “home” on Wednesdays morning  

 

Monthly Moments

• Monthly  “Study Days” (Wednesdays I don’t speak)  
• Monthly coaching (Dary, Greg, Jeff, etc)
• Monthly spend some time with Eagles (Bret Allen, Dary Northup, Lee McFarland, Les Welk, Rick Ross, etc)
• Monthly “Travel and speak” outside of New Life

 

Abandon Annually

• Prayer and Planning Retreat with Jana.  (July & December)
• Summer Break (three weeks no speaking, meetings, work from home)
• Three weeks vacation—take them and enjoy.
• Annually—go to a conference or go see great church 
• Only Speak 38 times a year  (eventually only speak 32 time when I am in my fifties)
• See counselor twice a year (July & December)